Invitation indicates “just your presence, no gifts”. Was it a proper way for me not bringing a gift?
Question by : Invitation indicates “just your presence, no gifts”. Was it a right way for me not bringing a gift?
It was a “meeting a new infant girl” party. I did not purchase a gift simply because I thought I respected what it stated on the invitation. When I showed up at the party, there were some gifts already. How’s impolite among these people. I felt very humiliated and injured in the course of the whole time. I ought to have left right before the celebration began. Need to I confront my buddy that I felt poor, naughty that I did not bring a gift? She and I are longtime shut friends. The cause is since the infant is not officially hers yet. She and her husband are the foster parents who are hoping to adopt that baby. They lost their “adoptive” child boy to his genuine dad about three years ago. They are afraid to lose once more with that new child girl. When she is adopted, I’ll bring a gift. Does it make sense?
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Answer by stephen k
It asked for NO gifts you did proper
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It asked for no gifts so you are just fine. maybe others thought that they should just bring a gift because. if you are feeling bad about it just talk to your friend. im sure she will also reassure you that you did the right thing. dont stress too much… friendship isnt about presents anyway!!!
No, you followed her instructions. It was what she expected.
If it was your best friend, and the invite said no gifts, it was just their way of “showing off” their new baby. As a mother, I did not expect any of my friends to purchase anything for my baby. I was just pleased they cared enough to stop by to see him and to see how I was doing. Just you showing up showed her how much you care and how much she means to you.
If the invitation states “no gifts”, then yes, you were fine to show up without a gift. Doesn’t really matter what the occasion is (birthday, anniversary, “meet the baby”, housewarming, etc …).
Please don’t feel bad at all about this. Some people will take a gift, no matter what. I think they tell themselves that they do this out of generosity. In reality, it’s not generosity, but a sense of smugness or superiority. In either case, bringing a gift did not honor the spirit of the invitation (“your presence”).
You were fine. Please don’t waste any more time feeling embarrassed. And you have no need to say anything at all to your friend. Just convey your best wishes to the couple, and if the child does indeed become their child, please DO welcome her with a joyful gift!
I’m guessing that they didn’t want gifts in case they don’t end up getting the baby then they have all these gifts lying around that just make them feel bad. I don’t think you need to “confront” your friend…just talk to her about it if you feel you need to explain yourself. The truth is that she knows what the invitation said since she wrote it and she was probably fairly irritated with the other guests for not following their request. I think your idea is very appropriate….you followed their request on the invitation and it would be appropriate to get them a gift once the baby is officially theirs.
well i understand now why they didn´t want any gifts, maybe they felt embarrassed too, if you feel like you should have given any gift, you still can, or if you consider you did good, you are not obligated
It is the others that should be embarrassed for being ignorant of her wishes. They put your friend in an awkward position. you did as she requested. You have nothing to feel bad or embarrassed about.
You did the right thing. The invitation stated no gifts, and you just didn’t bring one. That’s what she wanted. There are always going to be some people who want to bring the gift either to impress someone else by saying “look how generous I am” or because they are used to bringing somethine whenever they are invited to a party. That’s why you shouldn’t have been upset. You came to celebrate that your friend might be a mother, not about gifts and definately not about how others act. You followed directions, which is fine too and therefore you have no need to confront your friend about bringing a gift.
I think it is nice to bring a gift after the girl is adopted. That shows that you have respect for them and it is kind of a congratulating thing. It is right then and very appropriate.
You did the correct thing. When they said no gifts-just your presence, that is what they meant.
Any further concerns/questions, please feel free to talk with your friend who gave you the invitation.
Take care.
She did not want you to bring a gift. Do not feel embarrassed because other people did not respect her wishes. I would not confront her. Bring a gift when the baby is adopted and do not worry.
I can totally understand how you feel. When it is written on the invitation to NOT bring gifts, people that attend should respect that. It’s almost as though they do it just to make the others feel bad on purpose or something. I know thats most likely not why they do it, but, if they gave it a moment of thought they would realize that to bring a gift anyway would make those that don’t feel really bad.
the key in this instance surrounds the reason for the invitation stating no gifts
once i read all your post i thought-you did the right thing here, and the people who brought gifts should have waited too, after the party, the “mom” will have sat down and looked at the gifts and they will have given her a little sad thought, “these maybe gifts for a baby that may not be ours soon” so because of the circumstances, you are in the clear, and you should have stayed at the party too, which you did, these are not everyday circumstances and you followed the hostess’s wishes to the letter, forget about this now, and once baby is officially welcomed into the family, buy a gift and a big balloon, and a card for the new parents that says MOM&DAD on it, that will make them smile more than anything after all they have been through
you are the friend mommy will appreciate long after the others
Don’t worry about it. Don’t allow what others do to make you feel bad.
You did what she asked. Some people just insist on bringing a gift always. Don’t worry about what other people did. You had no reason to feel embarrassed or hurt.